I was praying recently for a fellow widow who was struggling through the past few days. That really deep down heartache that can hit us when we least expect it. I imagine most of you have felt that on some level because of loss in your own lives.
I know from my own experience that God rarely chooses to eliminate the pain. I had a sweet friend say to me in the early days after Dale’s death, “I wish I could take your pain away.” To which I replied, “Even God isn’t taking my pain away, so how can I expect you to?”
True statement and yet I understood her heart in this. We don’t like to see our friends and loved ones hurting. For that matter, we don’t like to see complete strangers hurting!
But loss and the associated hurt are an integral part of this fallen world, whether we like it or not. So how might we pray for someone who is deeply hurting, given this sad reality?
Knowing that growth in our faith comes from those dreaded trials, I have often prayed that God would drop “nuggets from Heaven” into my hurting friends’ lives. That he would give them an unexpected blessing when they needed it most.
I still believe that’s a compelling and realistic prayer to pray over those who are grieving. I’ve seen the effectiveness of that answered prayer in my own life and it’s a powerful reminder of God’s presence in our lives through our trials, and of his love for us.
But during this particular prayer time, I got a slightly different sense of how I should be praying. I don’t even remember the exact words I had been praying, but this is where my plea landed: “Please give her a break from the ache.”
It’s pretty poetic, isn’t it, with that rhyming scheme in the statement! It surprised me a bit because it wasn’t anything I had prayed before, and yet I loved the message and the succinctness of it.
It’s slightly different from my earlier prayer of asking God to drop some blessings in someone’s day. And yet it’s a close cousin to the blessing prayer.
This prayer is asking God to take away someone’s pain – if only for a short time. I love that idea!
How could God take our pain away momentarily?
- A sweet friend calls just to chat and see how our day has gone.
- We are blown away by a breathtaking sunrise or sunset.
- A scripture verse jumps out of our Bible and into our souls at exactly the time we need that particular insight.
- Someone shares an amusing memory that transports us back to a happy time in our lives.
- A child/grandchild/pet crawls up into our lap and tells us how much they love us. Yes, my dogs tell me that all the time!
- A Facebook meme is so “on point” that it makes us laugh out loud.
- We are unexpectedly blessed and distracted from our pain after doing something kind for someone else. (I highly recommend this one!)
- We listen to (or sing at the top of our lungs) a praise song that reminds us of one of the powerful truths about God.
- Our favorite sports team (pro, college, high school, preschool) has a great game.
- We take a moment to indulge in a piece of irresistible milk chocolate. (Or is that just me?)
Each one of these examples changes the focus from your pain to a momentary joy.
This list is just a start. And while I’ve essentially shared my own top ten list, the reality is that God is so unlimited in the ways he can give us and our loved ones a break from the ache.
This changes not only how I might expand the ways I pray for someone, but also causes me to be mindful of, and even look for, all the ways God is doing exactly that in my own life.
For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
and streams on the dry ground.
Isaiah 44:3
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