We’ve all done it, haven’t we? “If only I had intervened sooner.” “What if I could have prevented that?” “If only I had pushed harder.” “What if I missed my only chance?”
What IF Only – ad nauseum! Our minds go there again and again because there is SO much in this life that doesn’t go according to “our” plans. So obviously, we should be the ones to figure out how we could have prevented all these disasters and tragedies and slip-ups and embarrassments. Right?
Let me ask you this: have you EVER felt better after playing this game? I’m guessing likely not. I don’t. I end up going down one of those ugly rabbit trails that often ends in another pity party. I see that ultimately there’s NOTHING I can do in the here and now to fix the past problem. And I feel worse than before I started the game.
So the futility of playing this game, and the perfect peace that comes from turning it over to God are the subjects of this week’s blog.
Last week’s loneliness topic was one that I struggled with for days and never felt completely satisfied with what I shared. It’s a hard, unsolvable issue.
Today, I’m feeling more optimistic about what God has laid out on my heart to share with you. Why is that? Because my favorite God-characteristic is his sovereignty. His good control over virtually everything!
As a widow and as a friend to many other widows, I can tell you this game is played A LOT! I’ve had scores of conversations with women who felt they could have prevented their husband’s death IF ONLY they had taken these few steps. They wouldn’t be living the heartache right now IF ONLY…
This is a topic that is clearly one for the masses. Why do we cling to this illusion? That we really could have fixed all the ugliness that’s crashed into our lives.
Let’s start at the very beginning. Back to the Garden of Eden. If you recall, the “big lie” Satan wanted Adam and Eve to buy into is that they, too, could become like God. He told them THAT’S why God didn’t want them to eat that forbidden fruit. They could be like God, knowing everything.
So they ate, and all of humanity from that point on has struggled with sin. And particularly the sin of wanting to be like God. Yep, we have the same desire as Adam and Eve did.
When we truly believe that our actions have the power to alter any course that God has set in place, we’ve put ourselves in the place of God.
On sure, we see times where decisions we make have an effect on our lives and others. But in the big picture, we are just infinitely small players.
Let’s look at some scriptures that speak into this.
As I talk with anyone who has lost a loved one, I turn to this scripture in Psalm 139:16 to help them see God’s truth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
This tells us that, even before we were ever born, God knew how many days we would live. Could he be any clearer?
Let go of your guilt over how you lost a loved one. Their future was never in your hands. It’s ALWAYS been in God’s. I take GREAT comfort from that. I hope you can get there, too.
If you’re skeptical, try this. PRETEND you believe this to be true. That no amount of your effort or angst or control could ever stop God’s sovereign plan. Do you feel the weight of responsibility lifting? Keep meditating on this truth until you start to feel that! Ask God, plead with him, if necessary, to help you accept this truth. You will run to it again and again and again…
So if God’s sovereignty runs all the way into our deaths, don’t you think his sovereign hand extends into all areas of our lives? He will use every ounce of your pain for eventual good.
I love the Psalm 139 text because it gives us a defined example of something God is sovereign over – our deaths. But there are so many texts that speak to his sovereignty, in general, and these too can be helpful. Here are just a few of my favorites.
- Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases (Psalm 115:3).
- The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps (Proverbs 16:9).
- Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all (I Chronicles 29:11).
- “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2).
- For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him (Colossians 1:16).
- And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).
- As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today (Genesis 50:20).
Once again, if you want a nice hefty list of scripture texts, here are 100 to choose from!
Now some practical suggestions and reminders to help you develop a healthy understanding of and respect for this peace-inducing God quality.
- First and foremost, ASK GOD to help you develop an unshakeable trust in him and his plans. He wants that for you! Now you must want it, too.
- Remind yourself OFTEN that Satan doesn’t want you trusting God’s sovereignty. He’d MUCH rather you worry and fret about every aspect of your life. When you start to feel the need to fix all that’s gone awry, recognize who is behind that lie.
- Take a beat. That’s right. When you are hit with any level of difficulty, beware the knee jerk reaction. I guarantee it’s more likely than not to be worry and a fanatical need to “right the ship.” Instead, why not offer up this quick prayer? “God, help me to know without a doubt, that you’ve got this. Help me trust you through it.” Get your heart right before God before you leap into the fire.
- Find some prayer warriors. Who do you know that has a solid grasp on the truth of God’s sovereignty? Enlist them, even before tragedy strikes, to help you embrace this marvelous truth. If you don’t have anyone, contact me! Then when you’re blindsided by the next disaster, you’ll have others lifting you up in prayer. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer partners.
As with all of these “transformations,” it’s not like flipping a switch and, ta da, you’re instantly grounded in God’s perfect plan. It’s an exercise in every sense of the word. Often painful at the beginning. But continually “practicing” the art of trusting God will eventually result in actually trusting him!
It might be one of the gifts I most wish for all of you. Long before Dale’s death, through some of our hardest years, I could honestly tell God, “I hate this, but I trust you.” And the peace that surrounds those who surrender their control to this good God will be better than anything you’ve ever experienced.
I close today not with another scripture, but with a verse from one of my favorite songs, “In Christ Alone.” Think deeply about these words, and have a blessed week!
No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of Hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck me from his hand.
Till he returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ, I stand.
Leave a Reply