I was blessed these past few months to serve as a mentor to three sixth graders (one boy and two girls) at the school where our church meets. Originally I thought I would be helping them with math, but “tutoring” really just meant hanging out with them, individually, for about 20 minutes every Thursday and talking about whatever they wanted to.
Let me tell you, they know some fascinating stuff! Honestly, I’m not sure if all the stories were true, but it was clear their imaginations are alive and well. Ultimately what the school was looking for were a few adults from our church who had the time to focus on each of them and could speak good stuff into their lives.
As any of you who have done something similar can attest to, we mentors often get as much or more out of these sessions as the mentees.
I attended their sixth-grade graduation last Thursday which caused me to reflect on our time together and just exactly what I learned from them.
First my observations from my time with these amazing young people:
- These kids all had difficult pasts and presents they were dealing with – from homelessness to abuse to broken families to crime to threats of severe violence. My heart ached for all they had been through at such a young age.
- And yet, what did I see displayed in each of their lives? Resilience! In spades! While they did share some of the junk from their lives, most of our time was spent discussing sports, fashion, art, siblings, school (sometimes), and a zillion other topics they were interested in. These kids were full of life!
- They want to be treated as adults. Of course, at age 12, we know they really aren’t 100% there yet, but talking to them as if they were our equals, on some level, was what they needed from us.
- Within one 20-minute session, they responded to kindness and attention and encouragement. It’s like their lives were sponges that needed to soak up the positivity that had been or was missing from their home lives.
- They each had very clear-cut, unique gifts. The artistic talent of one of the girls was incredible! These gifts alone could take each of these kids very far in their lives.
- I don’t normally think of sixth graders (especially boys) as being overly affectionate, but it didn’t take long before they all were quick to give me hugs.
- In a very sad sense, their lives were all more complicated than mine.
So, the lessons learned are really quite simple.
- Gifts like kindness and attention and encouragement given to anyone can and will pay big dividends with a relatively small investment.
- We shouldn’t let anyone derail our dreams or fulfillment of our natural gifts and talents.
- Moving past difficulties and focusing on the good ahead of us can serve us well, as long as we take those hard-time lessons with us.
- Never underestimate the positive impact a young person can have on those in their sphere of influence.
- While the teachers at this school have huge hearts for these young people, don’t dismiss your (and my) ability to affect positive change in those around us, regardless of age.
I’m a better person for having spent time with these special kids. And I’m quite sure I’ll see at least one of them over the summer. I told him recently, “Don’t forget about me when you become that big NBA star.” I know I won’t forget him.
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6