We have ample opportunity to look back at various times in our lives. Birthdays and anniversaries certainly rise to the top of that list. When we hit the big fives and zeroes, we might even take a more introspective approach to the years leading up to the big event.
This past Saturday, April 1st marked a pretty significant “anniversary,” but it wasn’t really one I had on my radar until just recently. It was 10 years ago on April 1, 2013, that Dale and I made the big move to urban living after 27 years in the country.
Between Dale’s truck and a neighbor’s truck loaded to the max, we truly resembled the Beverly Hillbillies. No, I wasn’t Granny sitting on the top of the heap in her rocker! There’s a visual for you…
It wasn’t a move either of us wanted, and yet I knew it was necessary given Dale’s declining health. I could fill a book with all of the challenges surrounding the move itself, but I’ll spare you those details. So when we got moved in that day, I breathed a sigh of relief. For about three days.
That’s when Dale was diagnosed with shingles, and soon after a nasty GI bleed, and 2013 became our most difficult year ever.
Relax, I will not take you year by year, or month by month through this last decade! But I did want to set the stage for the rest of this post.
When we look back over a period of time, it’s natural to think through the highlights and the lowlights, the blessings and the challenges. Given all that’s happened since 2013, one might ask me this question: “Did you have any idea what was ahead for you when you moved into Urbandale ten years ago?”
My answer would be yes, and no.
This is what I expected when we changed addresses:
- Dale’s health would continue to decline.
- I would take on the majority of household tasks.
- Dale would pass away long before the decade was up, and I would be living alone.
- Some of my friendships would change merely because of the 20+-mile distance now between us.
That’s about all I expected. Pretty short list, isn’t it? But not short on impact. In fact, nothing in my life has ever come close to the devastation of losing Dale. The point, however, is that these big impact items were not surprises to me. They were, in fact, the reasons behind our move.
What about all the events during that time that I had no idea were awaiting us? This list will more closely resemble our image for the week. Mountains and valleys. Straight flat paths and treacherous ones. Blue sky and clouds. I’ll bring you all in on this in just a bit, so hang in there with me. Here’s what else we experienced:
- A neighborhood that embraced us and provided new friendships
- A thankfulness for the proximity of multiple area hospitals, given the many ER runs necessary for Dale
- A new church family which also added friendships to our world
- A year of tragedies beyond anything either of us could have imagined
- The death of four beloved pets
- A grief ministry borne out of Dale’s death
- Continued change in the friendship landscape because of Dale’s death – some precious new friends, and some to whom I bid Godspeed.
- A faith that was tested through fire and emerged stronger than ever, all because of God’s grace and mercy to me.
Here’s where you come in. I’d like you to take a few minutes and take a walk down the memory lane of your past decade (or whatever time period you choose.) I think it’s safe to say your list would have a similar “feel” to it. Some events were expected; some were not. Some were huge blessings; others were deep heartaches.
So often I’ve heard people say with sadness, “This is not the life I expected.” Rather than being angry or disappointed in God for not giving us that life, maybe it’s our own expectations that need to be examined. I’ll quote again a verse that speaks deeply to me from 1 Peter 4:12, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” That’s more in line with what our expectations should be.
The “soft” place I landed after thinking through all that has transpired since April 1, 2013 is this:
Every moment of those ten years was under God’s sovereign hand. Nothing was a surprise to him. He knew all the heartaches we would face, and how he planned to walk us through them. He knew the blessings he would drop into our lives, especially when we desperately needed them. He knew the way he would grow my faith and give me a purpose so much greater than I ever imagined.
Just re-reading that paragraph brings me to tears – of sorrow and gratefulness.
What do you see when you look back ten years, or 20, or two? Each of you will have a list that is designed specifically for you. Your highs and your lows are individually and uniquely yours. And the help God provides is also specifically designed to grow you through those years.
It’s an incredibly humbling thought when we consider the magnificence of our God. I hope your own memory lane journey gave you moments of gratitude and awe!
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11