Back in early August, I shared with you all how God had clearly called me to take an apparently much-needed break from my ministry work. I wasn’t completely on-board with that, but came to see the wisdom and necessity of it. To read about that initial stepping back (and to see the colorful floatie pic), check it out here. I eventually embraced the promise of minimal technology issues and a certain letting go of the control I wanted over my life.

Then about four weeks into that break, I shared another post cataloging my initial hopes for this season, and the not-so-great reality I was then living.  You can catch up on that post here if you missed it or need a reminder.

We are now 3 ½ months into that break and I have more to say!  I know, you’re not surprised by that. 😊

But this isn’t just a litany of what’s happened since then, although I’ll share a little of that.  It’s about a dark place I landed BECAUSE of this break and how God used friends and even strangers in my life to give me a new perspective.

One of the things I love most about God’s calling into this blog is how He faithfully uses MY lessons to share hard or encouraging truths with all of you.  I think this lesson is hard AND encouraging!

So, first of all, what have I been up to?  Mostly odds and ends. A few trips.  Some church event planning that kept me busy and focused. Some unexpected, wonderful, long phone conversations. Opportunities to get together with friends. The minutiae that come with being the sole owner of a home, yard and pet menagerie. LOTS of book reading.

You get the picture.  Nothing earth-shattering.  And here’s the kicker – NOTHING that felt like ministry to me.  Hence the slide down into that dark place.

I started feeling like I was tired of waiting on God.  Was he EVER going to call me back?  Had I wasted all my efforts on what I had been working on so diligently? Was he going to call me right back to where I had left – with all the same challenges? Had he decided I was too old for this?  (That’s for all of my “youngish” friends out there who love to remind me of that…!)

While I didn’t believe God had forgotten me, because I know him too well to think that of him, I didn’t feel the closeness that I felt when I was actively working on ministry projects.  I MISSED that deeply.

I also missed not having any idea what my weeks would look like.  One time when I friend asked me what was on my schedule, I told her, “Well, I have to give the dogs their heartworm medication on Saturday.”  That’s all I had!  Those of you who know me well understand how difficult that is for me!

Despite God continuing to supply me with weekly blog post ideas, and for dropping some encouraging conversations into my life, I felt primarily lost and without purpose.  It was a HARD reality for me.

I still prayed.  I still read my daily devotions.  I still trusted God.  But I found no joy in my waiting.

And then the tide began to turn.  One of my recent daily devotions included the full text of 1 Corinthians 15:1-58.  Really, 58 verses?!  I nearly skipped by the last verse which says, “Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

Immediately I thought about all that I have worked on for the past three years since God has called me to this ministry.  And specifically to those projects still on the drawing board.  The message that came through loud and clear is that God would NOT waste that, regardless of how he chose to use it.

Starting to climb a bit out of that weeks-long pit. 

In the past few days, as I’ve been talking with friends and even a “friend of a friend” that I’ve never met, as I mentioned not having my ministry right now, multiple times I’ve been told, in so many words, “You’re ministering to me!”

THAT is what God needed me to understand.  Sure, I might not be working on that digital course, or finding podcasts to be a guest on, but he is STILL using me, as HE sees fit, to speak into the lives of others he brings into my own.

Immediately, I saw this time of respite through a different lens.  Rather than relegating these “random” conversations to the B-team of ministry opportunities, I saw them as divine appointments God had designed just for me, and just for this time.

That is my exact message to all of you.  Don’t feel like you have any kind of ministry?  Not sure God can even use your talents and experiences and wisdom and compassion?  Think again.  He can and will give you the same kinds of opportunities that I have so flippantly ignored, if you will open your eyes, too.

So in a sense, I never did “take a break” from ministry work.  God just shifted the focus. And in his mercy, he allowed me to finally understand that!  Please don’t take as long as I did. Your opportunities are out there, I promise.  More importantly, God promises.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,

which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10