After dinner last night, I decided to fast today (September 11th). It began as a way to jumpstart a diet and lose a few pounds. I’ve done that off and on over the past few years. There’s usually a minor drop in poundage on the scale after a day or so.
But what starts out as a diet plan, often becomes a spiritual experience as well. If you’re familiar with fasting in the Bible, it was often done in conjunction with prayer. The one-two punch – prayer and fasting.
When I realized this last-minute fast coincided with the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I knew I would be praying for all those affected by that horrific attack. I know 20 years doesn’t mean the pain of those losses has disappeared. For many, it has likely not even diminished much.
As I began the day with my initial litany of prayers, I was surprised to find this prayer sneak into the line-up: “God, please don’t let me feel hungry today.” On the surface, it doesn’t seem so bad, does it? Until we look deeper at one of the spiritual objectives behind biblical fasting.
Whatever my reason for fasting, I know it will mean hunger pangs all day long. And I also know that whenever I feel the urge to eat, I’m reminded of my need for God. It brings me into closer and more frequent fellowship with him throughout the day. I would consider that one of the main reasons I fast for spiritual reasons.
So praying for the hunger pangs to disappear would essentially cancel out all the great benefits of the fasting in the first place! What was I thinking? Honestly, I don’t believe I intentionally prayed that prayer. It felt like it slipped into my thoughts before I knew what happened! That just reinforces my natural tendency to avoid any kind of discomfort. And maybe I ALSO wanted to avoid the constant reminders of how much I need God.
This particular day of fasting felt a little discombobulated. Gosh, I’m not sure I’ve ever used that word in a blog post! But it describes how I felt with so many different priorities vying for the top spot. What was my real goal here? Was it weight loss? Was it praying for the 9/11 families? Maybe the other prayers that popped up throughout the day. Maybe the overarching need for God and his provision.
At the end of the day, literally, I felt I hadn’t really done justice to any of them. It was like God had to compete with all those other fasting goals.
So my fasting commitment going forward will be to keep the weight and spiritual growth/prayer goals separate. I don’t want to put the goal of losing a pound or two on the same stage as a desire to grow closer to God. Sounds pretty silly when you put them side by side, doesn’t it?
This isn’t really a monumental lesson, but so often the tweaking and fine-tuning of our faith comes in these small, seemingly insignificant moments. If I only listen for those blaringly loud declarations from God, I’ll miss out on so much of what he wants to teach me. So often, it’s the “still small voice” of God that demands our attention.
How do you best hear God speaking? Do you have intentional quiet time with him? Does he speak through songs or devotionals? Those are all good ways to make us pause and listen. If you haven’t experienced fasting, consider trying it with the intention of listening to what God might want to teach you. Maybe you lose a pound or two in the process!
Be still, and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10