I’ll admit the first thought that went through my mind when I typed that title was the classic 70s song from Sister Sledge, “We Are Family.” One of the lines is, “I’ve got all my sisters with me.” It speaks to a family outside blood or step relationships, and it’s what I want to chat about today.
So, why is this topic on my mind? You may recall a few times I’ve mentioned a large Christian widow/widower Facebook group that I’m a part of. Simply by reading through the posts on a daily basis, I get a feel for some of the main issues the group as a whole is dealing with.
One of the heartbreaking themes that comes through loud and clear is how many widows and widowers feel like their families have all but forgotten them. Of course, it’s not unexpected that most return to the normalcy of their own lives. But this runs much deeper and is often described as an abandonment of sorts.
I think most widows or widowers have felt that to some degree. I know I have. But this isn’t about taking to task anyone who has stepped out of a grieving person’s life. This is about looking beyond whatever hurt has been inflicted and finding incredible joy and fellowship in other places.
As a believer, I’ve often said or been told, “The body of Christ is your family.” It’s a biblical fact. When we are adopted into the family as children of God, fellow believers are now our brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s fairly common knowledge.
But how good are we at applying this to our lives in a practical sense? Here’s what I’m guilty of: I’ve made this “family” second-class citizens next to blood or relational family members. In my heart, I’ve often thought, “Well, I might not have a lot of actual family members, but at least I have my friends and church family.” Sigh. Too bad that’s ALL I have.
See what I’ve done there? I’ve relegated my friends and God-given family of believers to the basement of relationships. Poor stand-ins. Last resort options. Third-rate third cousins. I didn’t do it intentionally, But God has been opening my eyes lately to how my belief in this truth doesn’t match how it plays out in my life or in my mindset.
For those of you who are blessed with a strong earthly family unit that loves and supports you through thick and thin, I’m grateful for all that they are in your life. That doesn’t mean you can’t ALSO have that God-given family.
But for anyone who sees many holes in that area of their life, I want to encourage you to join me as I ask God to help me get this right. I want to look at the friends and church family that God has placed in my life as the powerful blessings he intends them to be.
May I make THEM a priority in my own life and see them as the heaven-sent messengers that God wants to use to make my life richer. May I never relegate them to the bench!
So to any of you reading this blog who fit that category, I say, “Thank you for being such an integral part of my life and for standing with me on this hard journey – even if I didn’t always recognize it! I love you and appreciate your kind and compassionate hearts!”
This post wouldn’t be complete without a word to those of you who are that support system. Don’t relegate yourself to a position of inferiority. Recognize the vital role you can play as a “family member” in the life of one of your own friends. God can and will use you to bless someone who may feel that there are few “soldiers” standing with them. Be that friend. We need you.
But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name,
he gave the right to become children of God,
who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh
nor of the will of man, but of God.
John 1:12-13