I want to share with you a conversation I had with my pastor about 3 years ago. It fundamentally changed the way I understand the workings of God’s Holy Spirit in our lives. And since that Spirit is the most effective and powerful resource we have for comforting someone who’s hurting, it’s a subject that demands our attention.
Let me take you back to the days when Dale’s dementia was getting worse – probably about 7-8 years into the disease. I was repeating virtually everything I said – sometimes more than once. I wasn’t able to have any kind of in-depth conversation with him. We couldn’t enjoy TV programs or movies together because he couldn’t follow the story line. I was frustrated, and fearful, of what his lack of judgment might cause him to do – especially when I wasn’t home.
Overall, it was one of the hardest times of our lives. And given the fact that I’ve never considered patience one of my virtues, I was failing miserably in that area.
It was at this stage that I had a life-changing conversation with my pastor. I was bemoaning this difficult season and my struggles with patience. This is how our conversation went:
Me: “I wake up every morning asking God to give me patience. And I go to bed every night asking for forgiveness because I wasn’t patient.
Pastor: “You are patient.”
Me: “No, I’m really not. You must not know me well enough yet.”
Pastor: “As a believer, you have the Holy Spirit living within you, and one of the fruits of the Spirit is patience. So, you ARE patient.”
Me: Dumb-founded look on my face!
Honestly, I had to chew on this for several weeks. I DID understand that the Holy Spirit came to indwell me when I became a believer. (“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?” 1 Corinthians 3:16). And I have felt guidance and comfort through the Holy Spirit.
But, to think that I POSSESSED the fruits of the Spirit? Definitely new territory for me. But it does make sense logically. Because these are the fruits living inside of ME, then of course, they are at my disposal.
Slowly, I started to grasp the depth of this power. Did I instantly become the picture of patience? Anyone who knows me well, knows that’s not the case! But it did start to shift my focus and cause me to give up some of that control that I so wanted to hang onto.
Rather than TRYING SO HARD to BE patient, I started thinking more in terms of tapping into the power that God had placed within me through His Spirit. I was reminded so often during those difficult days that I needed to trust God to work through me – and stop using my own strength. It clearly changed my perspective.
It’s exactly what I share with anyone who feels they don’t have what it takes to be compassionate. You have every one of those fruits of the Spirit living inside of you, if you are a believer.
Tap into them, trust God to work, and be amazed and blessed by HIS power.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
Galatians 5:22-24