I’ve been struggling with this question for almost a week, and the more I think and pray on it, the more directions it takes me!
So, I’m going to take you on a trip down my own “weary lane” and see if there’s anything we can learn corporately.
This all began early last week when my pastor sent me a devotion he had written for his leadership meeting that evening. It was entitled “The Discipline and Reproof of the Lord” and it focused on a couple of texts from the book of Proverbs.
- “Do not despise the Lord’s discipline (chastisement) or be weary of his reproof” Proverbs 3:11.
- “For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life” Proverbs 6:23.
As I read through some of the specific points he was making, the word that practically leapt off the page to me was “weary.” It’s a word I would often use to describe my emotional state. Of course, being a widow is a massive contributor to being weary. I miss Dale too many times a day to even count. And, yes, it makes me weary.
So the first road I went down was to do a little self-reflection to see if this weariness I feel is appropriate, or if I need to have an infamous “attitude adjustment.” Hold that thought.
The next detour I took was to think about how weary I feel living in this fallen world. There is SO much heartache and discord and tribulation and hatred in the world today. I’m sure many of you would agree that you, too, feel a certain weariness while living the Christian life in these difficult times. So is this weariness appropriate? Hold that thought, too.
I’m sure you all picked up on this immediately as you read those scripture texts, but I clearly got distracted! The weariness addressed in those texts is related to how we should feel when God works in our lives to sanctify us, and to correct those areas in our lives that don’t align with God’s Word.
Once I went back to those texts, I could wholeheartedly agree (in theory if not in practice!) that it was, indeed, a good thing to welcome God’s chastisement in our lives, knowing that it is ultimately making us more like Christ.
I now began to look at “weariness” from a couple of perspectives. The one was weariness of my season of widowhood and living in this fallen world. The other was weariness the Bible cautions us against if it’s due to God’s loving discipline in our lives. One seemed absolutely appropriate; the other, not so much.
At this point in my theological meandering, I had another conversation with my pastor. I (somewhat proudly) posed the theory to him that the weariness spoken of in his Proverbs texts was not biblical because we should welcome God’s “pruning” in our lives.
But the weariness I felt from living in this season and in this fallen world made lots of sense to me. Of course, we can be weary of those things. I saw no problem with that.
And then, Pastor Insightful asked me this question, “What if we could be as weary of, or as distraught over the sin in our own lives, as we are with the sinfulness of this fallen world?”
Uhhhhh… I wasn’t expecting THAT! That immediately brought this whole sinful world issue, which I could quite easily take no blame for, and landed it squarely in my prideful heart. Is it not the collective sin of us all that contributes massively to why this world is fallen?
That idea essentially tied my two “weariness” definitions together and put me BACK on the hook!
As much as I wanted to feel settled on this issue, I admit it caused more confusion for me. Now I didn’t quite know WHERE I landed on our title question!
One thing I know to be true, because it’s clearly biblical – God wants us to be weary of the sin in our lives, but NOT weary of the work he’ll continue to do as he chisels off some of those rough edges and makes us more Christ like.
But the question of weariness over this season of my life, and the misery I see in this world in which we live, isn’t as clear.
So, this is where I’ve landed. I don’t believe I can completely eliminate my weariness over widowhood or this fallen world, and I’m not sure God expects us to. Both are a grieving, of sorts, and the Bible does not prohibit that.
Hence, through my weary days, I will continue to look for blessings, I will continue to pray that God makes me willing to accept his hand of discipline on my life, and that his Word, through us, would be a light into this fallen world.
This has been a very meandering road, for sure! But maybe it’s OK that the conclusion isn’t crystal clear. Maybe God wants you to wrestle with this same question in your life. Feel free to share any God-revelations with me! Thanks for going on the journey with me.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
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