It’s Not All About Me

Do you feel like you’re now entrenched in the holiday season?  Thanksgiving is in the rearview mirror and Christmas is less than three weeks away.  I know many of you have likely started shopping early and may already be done.  Getting it all done before Thanksgiving has been my jam for probably 30 years.  Not bragging about it.  I  just know that early is the best way I avoid stress.

But as the years have passed and I’ve “collected” losses along the way, specifically around the holidays, I find myself most often dreading this season.  I could give you a long litany of reasons for this melancholy that falls upon me and permeates so much of my thought life right now. I’ll spare you that, but will give you a clue that I grieve, in part, because I’m focused on myself.

I continue to fight off the tendency to have my Christmas pity party.  Not as festive as most holiday parties.  I’ve become accustomed to this holiday trajectory and assume it’s inevitable based on how acute my losses are this time of year.  In short, I have given myself permission to lean towards the “pitiful” end of the spectrum.

But today that changed.  I was given a new perspective.  A new lens through which to view these  weeks.  And embarrassingly, none of this is new revelation to me.  I’ve forgotten, or chosen to forget, the truth of what I just read in my morning devotional.

It comes from “New Morning Mercies” by Paul David Tripp.  I know many of you are reading that, so perhaps it got your attention, too.

Here’s an abridged version of what stopped me in my tracks.

“Life is not about us.  It is not about our comfort, pleasure, and ease. It is not about us getting our personal definition of happiness….It’s not about how successfully we avoid difficulty and suffering.”

These words may not even strike you as being remarkable in the sense of sharing something we didn’t already know.  Not really an obvious aha moment.

And yet, God spoke loudly to me through these written words.  Before I get into the real meat of that revelation, let me share one caveat, especially for anyone deeply grieving during this holiday season.

It is NOT wrong to grieve the losses in our lives.  It is healthy to do so.  It is necessary and it is biblical to do so.  This is not me telling you grievers to stop feeling sorry for yourselves and “get over it” or “move on.”  Pretty sure you know by now that is not how I roll.

So, yes, grieve what you’re missing during this holy season. Acknowledge the pain of death or sickness or dysfunction. I know I will still deeply miss Dale and my parents and most recently, my sweet Daisy girl.  But I encourage you to not let your hurts be the HEADLINE of your holiday season.  Make it about Jesus.

That’s essentially the message I received.  What better time of year for my focus and yours to be firmly fixed on the manger in Bethlehem and all that it represents for us as believers.  Could we find a more complete or awe-inspiring, hope-and-joy-filled promise than that of this tiny baby?

It’s not just giving lip service to the saying, “Jesus is the reason for the season.” It’s not just the warm fuzzies of a baby in a manger.  Not just the sweet nativity scene that is prevalent in our homes and churches and maybe even town squares.

There are deep truths that practically demand our attention. Here are the truths of this miracle that caused me to say, “How in the world can I focus solely on me and my troubles when these are the realities represented by the Christ Child?”

• Jesus left the majesty and perfection of heaven and all of his God-characteristics and powers to enter this sinful world.
• He came as a baby to make the powerful statement that servanthood and humility are the qualities we should strive to emulate in our own lives.
• His purpose in coming to earth – as both fully God and now fully man – wasn’t to collect a few disciples, perform a few miracles, and teach a few lessons.  It was to ultimately pay the price for OUR sins.  
• At the risk of stealing Easter’s thunder, that death on the cross in our place bought access to a holy God and an eternity of perfection – ironically, exactly what he temporarily left behind for our sakes.
• His birth was the fulfillment of scores of Old Testament prophesies.  For thousands of years, people awaited this promised Messiah.  They just didn’t expect him to show up in a lowly manger.  Can you imagine the explosion in heaven when he showed up here on earth?  Mind-blowing!

Any one of these points is worthy of deep reflection and gratitude.  There’s more than enough to cover our holiday heartaches.  I’m asking God to help me do this well and to be a testament to his power to heal despite our earthly sorrows.

Let me end with one practical note.  Just how does one focus on these incredible truths about Jesus?  For me, there’s no magic formula.  It’s a  prayerful, deliberate, conscious, ofttimes struggle-filled decision to stop whatever thoughts are causing me to obsess over my current situation. 

I purposefully switch my thoughts to the things of God and this season.  The previous bullet points will be my guide as I ask God to help me finish this season well.  I want to be constantly reminded that it truly is not all about me. I pray that the power of Jesus’ birth so long ago can genuinely fill your hearts and minds with everything you need to end your season well, too.

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable,

if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise,

think about these things.

Philippians 4:8