It’s no secret that I can be an impatient driver. Kind of goes with having an impatient personality. But I’m working on it, and sometimes I see glimpses of improvement!
It’s not unusual for me to yell at a driver, in my head, if I think they’ve pulled out in front of me at the last minute, or changed lanes a little erratically, or ran an almost-red stoplight, or any number of other “offenses.”
Here’s where I’ve seen a reason to hope that I might actually be getting better in this area.
Lately, when I see said offenses, I’m more likely to say to myself, “Yeah, I’d do the same thing.” Seriously! It’s been a way for me to ratchet back the road rage and admit that I ‘d probably make the same driving decisions as the person that I would previously been metaphorically shaking an angry fist at!
So, that’s my first example of holding others to an unfair standard. But with some improvement on the horizon.
On the flip side, I have also found myself extending grace to others when they haven’t lived up to the perfection that they expect out of themselves. It could be in regard to child rearing, housekeeping, “to-do” list successes, technology victories, grief “recovery,” or even striving after that flawless Christian walk.
I want to help them understand that perfection isn’t realistically attainable in this life. I want them to stop beating themselves up for making mistakes with their kids. I extend a complete pass for those busy moms who can’t get laundry done, or dishes washed, or devotions read.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing the best you can through difficult circumstances. God isn’t looking to you for perfection. He understands our weaknesses and loves us through them.”
And yet, I’m not quick to give myself some of that same grace. I mostly deny the fact that I still strive for perfection!
Can you see why I call this “my confusing standards?”
In one case, I’m harder on someone else than I am myself. And in the other, it’s the complete opposite.
Is it just me? Or can you join me on this wishy-washy judgment road?! Just what is the solution?
One scripture text stood out to me that I believe addresses both issues. Because at the heart of this question lies my pride – and not the good kind!
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3
At the risk of trivializing this text, I couldn’t help but think of the Tim McGraw country song entitled, “Humble and Kind” where we’re encouraged to be exactly that.
When I have a posture of putting others first and extending kindness in all my interactions (in or out of my car), my own self-interests (aka “pride”) take a back seat.
Pride is also at the root of my flawed concept that I could actually attain some level of perfection, which leads to my unwillingness to grant myself any grace. I certainly know I can’t be perfect, and yet there is this “striving after” that takes precedence over humbly giving that all over to God.
Isn’t it interesting how often we can pinpoint a variety of challenges in our Christian walk to a handful of sinful tendencies.
I pray that God would continue to refine me by pointing out my confusing or wayward tendencies, and help me see that cultivating a servant heart will serve myself and those around me well.
He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8
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