I had something happen to me last week that occurs so infrequently that it always takes me completely by surprise. I got hit with a nasty flu bug. For many of you, especially with children in the home, this is not a strange occurrence. But I’m blessed with a very “strong constitution” which usually helps me rise above any of the nasty bugs going around, so I was completely blind-sided by this.
Day one began with the usual fever, chills, and body aches. I took the COVID test which turned out negative. (My COVID-free streak continues!) By the end of that day, my fever was down, the chills were gone, and I was contemplating rescheduling everything I had cancelled for the next day.
And then the next day hit. With both flu barrels. In addition to a renewed fever, returning chills and body aches, I now had a throbbing headache, sore throat, and nasty cough. Ugh! I spent the day with NCAA basketball on, watching games I couldn’t care less about. I read, I napped, I barely got off the couch.
As I texted or chatted with a few friends, they let me know that they would be keeping me in their prayers, that I would get some relief soon. I thanked them for their concern and was grateful for their check-ins.
As I was lying there in my misery, this prayer revelation hit me. I hadn’t asked God for one iota of help through this nasty bout. It hadn’t even crossed my consciousness to go to him in prayer through this miserable day.
Why not? I can tell you it’s not because I’m selfless, or don’t think God cares about my bout of flu. And it isn’t like I don’t often go to God in prayer for other needs, such as my continual prayer for this ministry.
No, I think this is much more profound, and it caused me to ponder more deeply just why I hadn’t thought to ask God for healing or strength or comfort – or any number of logical requests.
I pray for others who are sick – at least to the extent I can remember to do so! So why not for myself?
The conclusion I came to was utterly disheartening. I had to admit that, in times of need, I didn’t turn immediately to my Heavenly Father. It wasn’t my natural response to trouble. It wasn’t ingrained in me so deeply that I would run there without having to think about it.
This made me profoundly sad. Then I did pray to God. But again it wasn’t for physical healing from this flu bug. It was a prayer of repentance, a prayer asking for forgiveness, a prayer laying my heart before my God who already knew what was on it.
After decades of walking with Jesus as my Savior, after a season as a widow where God has blessed me beyond what I deserve with a closer relationship with him than ever before, after more examples than I can count of how God has moved in my life, how could I end up here?
Yes, I take personal responsibility for this. I am also reminded of what the Apostle Paul says in Romans 7:19 – “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”
So often it is not our natural inclination to live the Christian life as faithfully as we’d like. Yes, as believers, sin is not our master any longer, but we still live in a broken world and in a sinful body that struggles against our own selfish inclinations.
We are not to give up hope! Here’s how Paul finishes out that section of Romans 7 in verses 24 and 25a: “Wretched (wo)man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
That is the answer! That’s how we rise above the pull of this sinful world. We acknowledge that, in our own strength, we don’t run to God first. We don’t do the good we want. We do the evil we don’t want to do.
God alone can give us the desire and the strength to live the Christian life as he intended for us.
Do I expect this recent “prayer revelation” to permanently fix this issue? Unfortunately, no. But I do believe it will cause me to run more often and more quickly to God when I face my own troubles down the road. It’s just one more step on the sanctification journey.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
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