If you’re like me, you enjoy knowing more about the people who come into your lives – even if it’s through a blog!  So, thanks for stopping by.  I’ll fill in a few details of who I am, my life with Dale, and my faith journey.

I’m originally from Pella, IA (and yes, I am 100% Dutch!) and had a pretty idyllic childhood, growing up in a Christian home, active in church functions, all the good things from a “Mayberry-like” existence!  To this day, I’m eternally grateful to my parents for that.

While I knew much about God through my upbringing, I didn’t understand the importance of having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ until my early teens.  I had the knowledge that Jesus died on the cross, but didn’t have the deeper knowledge that He was there for MY sins, taking my place and giving me HIS righteousness.  So, thanks to a great friend, I went to a revival meeting of sorts, and God’s Holy Spirit worked in my heart, drawing me to Him and helping me understand what it meant to be a true believer.

I made the commitment that night, at age 14, and have been on this journey of highs and lows ever since!  I haven’t been a perfect Christian, in part because one doesn’t exist!  But I know that God sees me through the sacrificial blood of Christ, and I am His daughter.  And at my core, it is who I am.

There’s not enough room here to delve as deeply into this as it deserves, but for a more complete explanation of the gospel message, check out this helpful article.  Repent, then, and turn to God, so that He will forgive your sins.  Acts 3:19

So back to the mundane details of my life!  After high school, I attended Iowa State University and graduated with a degree in Statistics.  I was hired into management by Northwestern Bell (NWB), back in its heydays, and thus began my career.  While working there, I was blessed to also attain my MBA from Drake University through the education reimbursement program at NWB.

I met Dale through work and we started dating in the early 1980s.  He was 20 years older than me, had 3 grown children and 2 grandchildren at the time.  Yep – every parent’s dream for their only daughter…

We dated for 5 years and over that time, he did win over both of my parents and pretty much all of my friends and relatives!  We got married on September 27, 1986 on a big paddle boat on the Mississippi River, out of the port of St. Paul, MN.  We made our home north of Stillwater, MN, and over the next 27 years, lived on acreages in both Minnesota and Iowa.

In 1994, Dale retired from his career and traded it in for head honcho on our acreages.  Projects and overall maintenance kept him busy while I continued to travel and work long hours on my job (at Principal Financial Group at this stage).

In 2002, I decided to quit the corporate rat race and join Dale in retirement, so that I wouldn’t regret working and traveling all the time and not spending time with him.  In retrospect, I’m so grateful we made that decision!  We enjoyed many mostly stress-free years where we could golf together, go to dinner and movies together and work in partnership on our acreage. Unquestionably some of the best years of our lives together.

So just a quick side note on our hobbies and interests.  Dale was a biker and fisherman at heart, with a sense of humor and wit that kept me laughing throughout our marriage.  He was also a big fan of Farmall tractors and refurbished several after his retirement.

One of my passions is music – primarily piano – and I still keep busy playing for concerts and contests in the small community where we used to live, and also on our worship team at church.  Anyone who knows me also knows that my animals are my “children.”  I’ve had Boston Terriers or Boston/Frenchie mixes my entire life and don’t see that ending any time soon! Currently down to just one dog, Maisy, aka Miss Sassy Pants. 

The family grew as well and now includes six grandchildren and six great-grandchildren.  Yep, that’s right.  I’m a GREAT grandma!

Over the next 10-12 years, I kept busy with several part-time jobs including church secretary and, as Dale used to describe it, a “professional pooper scooper” at a posh dog kennel.  Most recently I worked on contract for a commercial insurance agency.

Dale was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2008 and by 2012, he physically wasn’t able to do the acreage work anymore and I couldn’t do it alone.  So, in 2013, we moved into Urbandale, IA.  Quite a change from 27 years in the country with barns full of stuff! I remember feeling like the Clampetts on “The Beverly Hillbillies” (for my more “seasoned” readers) as our neighbors piled miscellaneous junk into the back of their truck and followed us into town. We were quite the sight!

Dale’s dementia worsened, along with his physical condition, and by the fall of 2016, it had reached the point where I couldn’t keep him safe at home anymore.  That resulted in another heart wrenching decision to move him to an assisted living facility.

As hard as that journey was, I started to see some very clear leading from God as I worked through the process of finding the “perfect” place for him.  Through many ups and downs, trips and turns, God opened the door to a care facility that Dale had essentially picked out almost four years before.

How did THAT happen?  After a year of health problems for Dale in 2013, I was scheduled to go on a girlfriend trip, celebrating some BIG birthdays.  But because of all the challenges he faced, I thought it would be best to cancel the trip and stay home with Dale.

But the crises seemed to abate, and I had a glimmer of hope that I could still join them.   I didn’t feel, however, that Dale was strong enough to be alone for the week.  So, I started to look for facilities that offered short-term respite care.

When I found a good candidate, we both went for a tour of the facility and Dale thought it was just the right thing for him.  Fast forward four years, and after SO many doors closed, God opened THAT door.  To the exact facility that he had chosen for himself years earlier.  What a confirmation that was!

So, he settled into his routine there quickly and easily.  They loved him and he loved them.  It was also a time of restoration for our marriage, because being the sole caregiver of someone with dementia is extremely difficult on a relationship.  I’m so grateful that God allowed us those 10 months to be husband and wife again, to reminisce about all the good years, and to be grateful to God for the life He had given us.

On October 16, 2017, Dale died unexpectedly, although we had seen that he was going downhill more quickly. Those of us who love him still grieve this loss so very deeply.  I talk more about this journey on my personal blog, It’s Beyond Me.

I will spare you the heartbreaking details of what it means to become a widow after a 31-year marriage because that’s NOT what this ministry is about.  It’s about helping people be a blessing to others who are grieving.  So my weekly blog posts will be written with that goal in mind.  Find out more about what to expect on the Content tab.

I have entered a season of my life which is still full of heartache, but has a greater hope and purpose. God’s leading couldn’t be clearer! I’m excited to see where He leads me and am grateful that you are looking at joining me on that journey.

Thanks for reading the story!