Holidays can be complicated times even without adding the confusion and frustration of this seemingly never-ending pandemic. Stories about extended family get-togethers are often fodder for late-night talk show hosts so that proves they are potentially explosive gatherings.
Now many of you are likely struggling to figure out how to see your loved ones in a safe manner – or how to combine widely differing opinions about how this pandemic should be handled. So in addition to “religion and politics,” “pandemic opinions” are now another conversation taboo!
How convoluted has this become?!
As many of you know, holidays are extra hard for me because both of my parents died right around Christmas. And being a widow without children over Thanksgiving and Christmas has its own set of heartaches. So, I’ll admit, I haven’t always done a great job of adjusting my expectations to my circumstances. Nor have I been great about leaning into God and his promises during this difficult season. More often than not, I just try to make it to January 2nd.
But as I thought about all the joyful parts of the upcoming holidays that may not happen for so many, I decided it was time for me to get serious about how best to handle my own unmet expectations. And because of the pandemic, I decided to take you all along with me. You’re welcome.
First, I’d like to acknowledge the areas that could cause us some heartache – not to be a Debbie Downer, but to validate that it’s OK to grieve over what we may miss this holiday season. Here’s just a sampling of what came to mind as potential losses for the holidays:
- No cookie baking with the grandkids
- Limited or no Christmas caroling
- No visiting the care facilities to spread some holiday cheer
- Smaller meal gatherings
- Less peaceful meal gatherings
- Smaller groups for present opening – and less peaceful
- Family members who choose not to travel for the holidays
- Church services cancelled or altered significantly
- Holiday shopping moved primarily online non-voluntarily
- Angst over deciding WHO the family members will be if numbers are limited
- Hurt feelings if you’re excluded
You could all likely add your own bullet points to this list. I know that these won’t affect everyone, and yet I believe everyone will have something that is given up during this upcoming holiday season. It’s OK to miss these beautiful traditions with your family and friends.
How easy and understandable it would be to focus on all that we can’t have right now. We’re already weary of this after 9 months of pandemic fatigue. Now it’s stealing our holiday joy, too. Life is not fair.
Let’s stop right there and adjust our thinking, because a focus strictly on what we’re losing will not serve you or me or any of our families well.
Let’s get back to the basics of these next two holidays.
Do you remember from grade school how Thanksgiving began? Without going into a ton of detail, it was a celebration after a harvest that followed some very difficult times for the early colonists. Famine and drought and death were precursors to those early Thanksgiving celebrations.
And yet, when a successful harvest came in, they choose to thank God for his provision through their difficulties.
That’s it. No other lofty expectations.
Can you see yourself with whatever family you gather with, sincerely listing off blessing after blessing after blessing at this year’s Thanksgiving table? THAT is the heart of our Thanksgiving holiday. Despite of and maybe because of a year of difficulties, we can be grateful for all that God has bestowed on us. That is the focus.
What about Christmas? We (and retailers everywhere) have created this mountainous pile of expectations that can’t be met by anyone. And the mountain just got rockier this year.
So once again, let’s go back in time and look at that first Christmas. Think about those conditions – a tiny baby born in a manger with mom and dad and some farm animals in attendance. Oh there were a few gifts down the road a couple of years, but it was a pretty stark scene if one didn’t know the hope it represented.
How does that scene compare to the one you may be imagining for yourself this Christmas? Even with all that you and I may be giving up, are we still greatly blessed? Without a doubt, I am.
So in addition to shifting your focus away from the meals and shopping and present opening and traditions that may be missing or altered, let’s try a laser focus on that infamous “real meaning of Christmas.”
Sure, we hear about that every year, to the point that it barely registers anymore. Maybe this is the year we take a renewed look at what that means.
It’s as simple as our Thanksgiving lesson, but oh so much more profound. What we celebrate if everything else is stripped away, is the birth of the Savior of the world. This tiny baby would go on to die on a cross for OUR sins, paving the way to an eternity in heaven for all who would believe in his sacrifice on our behalf. THAT is Christmas!
Sometimes I wonder if one of the “gifts” of the pandemic is that it strips away from us so much of what we cling to INSTEAD of Jesus. This is how I want to approach these two “Norman Rockwell”-expectation holidays.
I want to be thankful for all that God has blessed me with. And I want to revel in the greatest blessing of all when Christmas rolls around this year. I’ll put my heartache behind me, at least temporarily, and thank God for the hope found in His Son.
Won’t you join me?
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
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