I don’t mean just what we called the time after the church service when we imbibe on cookies and coffee. I’m talking about frequent, deep, and satisfying connection with others. If you’re looking at it biblically, it’s entitled koinonia. Here’s a quick definition: Christian fellowship or communion, with God or, more commonly, with fellow Christians. We’ll refer back to this in a moment.
I hope most of you recognize that I don’t like to spend much time talking about the difficulties in my life. Yes, there are hard things, but I always want to land on the blessings in my life and all that I’m learning as a result of the trial.
But to get to this lesson, I’m going to have to take you through some rough days I’ve had lately so you’ll understand how and why I ended up in a dark place. If you can indulge me for a few paragraphs, I promise there is a godly lesson to follow! So let me build the story for you, layer by layer.
As you all may recall, we passed Valentine’s Day a week or so ago. I make no secret of the fact that it’s not one of my favorite days now that I don’t have my valentine anymore. It’s another day that I mostly try to move through and get to the 15th. It’s one of my hardest days, and this story culminated on that day. Layer #1
Around that same timeframe, I was dealing with some difficult situations that required me to engage in a couple of confrontational conversations which added quite a bit of stress to my life. Layer #2
Loneliness is already my biggest challenge as a widow, especially since I work from home, live alone, and have little family to connect with. Layer #3
The pandemic has brought a screeching halt to a lot of my social and ministry activities, resulting in few contacts with others. I’m not counting my fellow shoppers at the grocery store as legitimate contacts! I’ve even somewhat reluctantly opted for the Zoom version of the biblical koinonia mentioned above for my church services. Layer #4
The weeks of tundra-like weather, snow, ice and subzero temps, have added to the usual challenges inherent with a long winter. This alone can contribute to a bleak outlook on life. Layer #5
One of my physical and mental outlets is my daily two-mile walk with Daisy. That’s not happening even with her very dapper pink sweater. I even had to rescue her a few days ago when she was outside doing her “business.” That’s right, she froze up and I had to trudge through the deep snow to carry her little shivering body back inside. No walks for Daisy, or me! Layer #6
I randomly learned of several friends who had a nice full schedule of social events to look forward to, and somehow that became the tipping point for me. I found myself believing that EVERYONE out there had a life and people to share it with except me! (Delusion set in…) Layer #7
All of those layers combined brought me to this conclusion. I MISS PEOPLE. Those layers also opened up the door for me to go down an extremely dangerous road. We don’t always recognize when Satan wants to take us on that journey, so I willingly went there, and the end result was an evening filled with tears and heartache and despair. He knows EXACTLY how to drag me down to that pity party.
The next morning, after reading my devotions and not finding any nuggets specifically addressing my current state of mind, I turned to God in prayer. There weren’t a lot of words. Mostly me crying out for some relief from this heartache I was struggling with. And then I did what doesn’t come naturally for me – I was quiet and listened for God’s voice. Now the good stuff.
My faithful God, who has shown this compassionate side of his character to me time and time again, impressed upon me these incredible words of hope:
Perfect, precious, sweet, eternal fellowship with God and all my believing friends and family is what awaits me in Heaven. Keep my eye on the prize.
I immediately felt the dark veil lift from my life. It was replaced by that infamous “peace that passes all understanding” and I knew that God had given me exactly what I needed to get a new perspective. One that focuses on “the joy set before me.”
Isn’t that so often the case? We need a new perspective, a new lens through which to view our lives. Ultimately, we need GOD’S perspective on our troubles. If you sincerely and confidently ask him for it, he will deliver.
Are portions of those seven layers still true? Of course. We don’t escape all the trials in our lives because of a new perspective. But they are relegated to a considerably lower priority in our lives. They now have less power over our outlook on life.
So let’s circle back to our earlier definition. Yes, fellowship with others is profoundly important for us, but infinitely more powerful is fellowship with God. And we can tap into that right here and right now.
“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,
who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame,
and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1-2
Thank you for this post today and sharing your feelings . I have these exact feelings that you do, dear friend. This past yr has been very difficult on a lot of us who live alone. It seems like everyone except me is going on with their life, learning and doing new things while I just veg away in trying to be safe and responsible . I miss regularly meeting with people and sharing life. God never leaves me , I know and appreciate that so much , but maybe I’m just shallow enough to need tangible things around me too. My prayer to God is please bring me out of self and into you dear Lord and others . Redirection is what I need . Thank you and praise your holy name. ❤️🙏
Hugs to you, Jeanie. I know we both deal with some of the same isolation issues. I don’t think it’s selfish to want connection. God has designed us to live in fellowship with others. But, even Jesus had times that he was alone so we know we will also deal with those. And you’re right, we run to Jesus and we think about what’s ahead, and pray for the day when we truly can reconnect with others. Love you!