“And the Greatest of These Is … “

You don’t have to be a Bible scholar to be able to finish that statement.  You just need to have attended a few weddings in your lifetime.  Of course, it’s the famous verse from 1 Corinthians 13:13 which says, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

It’s the topic of this fourth and final blog post in our Biblical Transformation Series.  So, those three wonderful attributes remain, but loves tops them all.  I thought that would be an appropriate way to wrap up the series.

But, beware.  This is NOT going to be all hearts and roses like you would see at those weddings.  We’re going to take a pretty hard look at how our lives are impacted when we lose love.  It’s a topic near and dear to my heart, but it has implications across the board.

I’ll start with my widow perspective.  I recall when someone made this claim about her “condition” now that she was a widow. “I’m not the most important person in anyone’s life anymore.”  Isn’t that one of the saddest statements you’ve ever heard?  It struck me right in the heart because it was, and still is, the absolute truth about my life. And unless I remarry, it will remain true until the day I die.

Talk about ending this series on a high note!  But please hang in there with me.  There are some important truths I want to address.  But I have to start with that reality and what it meant for my world.

I acknowledged the truth of it.  I acknowledge the long-term nature of it. And most importantly, I acknowledged that I needed a new perspective so that I didn’t remain in that hopeless and pitiful state.

Let’s broaden this scope a bit before we get into some of the nitty gritty advice.  Certainly a widow or widower isn’t the only one who has lost love when a spouse dies.  You know the old saying, “How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.”  Well, how about this lovely twist – “How can I lose love?  Let me count the ways.”

Let’s get the hard part out of the way first.  We lose love through death, through divorce, through wayward children, through empty nests, through marriages that become stale, through broken friendships, through cross-country moves, through job changes and a million other reasons.

Yes, the people and situations that we love dearly can and do disappear throughout our lifetimes.  It’s an inevitable fact of life.

Now let’s turn a corner and look first at some practical solutions to help us refill that empty tank.

I had to remind myself that even though I wasn’t THE most important person in anyone’s life anymore, I could still be AN important part of others’  lives. And I could search out new relationships that could take some of the edge off the loneliness from that lost love.

And you know what the key was to keeping or bringing those relationships in my life?  I had to love on them well.  That’s right.  It’s pretty simple.  I had to be willing to reach out to friends, old and new, and try to bless THEIR lives. It was important to give much of myself in a selfless way in order to see those relationships grow and flourish.

Of course they didn’t replace the love I lost when Dale died.  But they didn’t leave me with nothing.  And sometimes it was just a matter or recognizing how important they already were in my life.

As crucial as it was for me to nourish those relationships, I also knew that there would never be a relationship or a love as powerful as God’s. Not to make this a “most popular scripture” post, but I have to turn to John 3:16 which tells us, “God so loved the world [that’s all of US] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.”  There is no greater love than to die for another.

So, while I did want to fill my life with people who would love me in Dale’s absence, deep down I knew that God’s love would be sufficient, even if no one loved me back.  One of my favorite verses comes from Jeremiah 31:3 where God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”  THAT’S how he loves his children, and I know that’s how he loves me.

Of course he blesses me with friends and fellow believers who love me, so they are the bonus on top of God’s all-encompassing love.

I can’t end this discussion without addressing a vitally important concept. And it spans every topic we’ve addressed during this series; loneliness, “what ifs,” elusive peace and lost love.

If we expect to fulfill our longings with anything or everything in THIS life, we will NEVER be satisfied.  That’s because God didn’t create us to be satisfied with this life or this world’s offerings. We will never find perfect fellowship or peace or love this side of heaven.  God “has placed eternity in our hearts” (Ecclesiastes 3:11), so we instinctively know that there is more than this life and its trappings.

Does that mean we stop looking for love or peace or companionship?  Absolutely not.  But it does mean our expectations should be tempered by the fact that NONE of that will fully satisfy. And begin to look more and more to God as the complete source of all we need.  In this life, and perfectly in the next.  That’s where my hope ultimately lies, and I pray that becomes true for all of you.

Thank you for joining me through this Biblical Transformation Series.  Can’t wait to see what God has lined up for us next.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19