We all know how powerful music can be. It can generate virtually every single feeling imaginable. You might say music elicits the full spectrum of human emotions.
My free gym membership (thanks, Medicare) allows me to participate in an aqua class three times a week. I love it and rarely miss it. A fun element is that the music played during the class is often a nice mix of the “oldie-goldies” because that’s also the makeup of the class attendees.
Last week the playlist included a song entitled “More Today than Yesterday” and it was recorded in 1969 by the Spiral Staircase. If you want a trip down memory lane, or want to listen for the very first time, check it out here.
My focus for this post is on the simple chorus:
Oh, I love you more today than yesterday.
But not as much as tomorrow.
I love you more today than yesterday.
But, darling, not as much as tomorrow.
This love song has resonated with me for decades, but no time more powerfully than when I was married to Dale. I felt every word of that chorus. That’s very much how I would describe our relationship – our love grew deeper and deeper over time.
That’s great when you still have that person in your life. But how great is it when you are now alone?
Don’t tune out yet! This is much more than a “woe is me” story.
Yes, there are love songs that only make me sad, but that’s just the nature of being a widow.
To my surprise, a new perspective came to me as I sang along to this song last week.
Rather than feeling sad that this song would never again reflect the reality of my life, I realized it could still represent how I feel about Dale, even in his absence.
Let me explain.
As I think back on my nearly 37 years with Dale, my thoughts go to the most uplifting, encouraging, heartening and yes, love-saturated memories of our time together.
But rather than making me feel sad, I realized that I am indeed loving him more and more as I’m reminded of the precious years we spent together. That trajectory didn’t have to change simply because he wasn’t physically in my life anymore. It could continue as long as I embraced those happy memories whenever and however they were recalled.
Were all our days wonderful? Of course not. No decades-long relationship is. I’m not in denial about that.
But because our minds tend to remember those infamous “good times,” I don’t need to intentionally sift out any of our difficult days. It happens naturally.
Is there a lesson in this for all of you? Of course there is! Otherwise, I’m not sure I would be writing on this topic.
It’s not a new thought. It’s not revolutionary. It’s not earth-shattering. It’s not monumental. It’s simple.
If you’re fortunate enough to still have your spouse, children, parents, or other meaningful relationships in your life, make a conscious effort to cherish their best qualities and hold on to the positive memories you’ve shared.
Yes, the idea is simple—but that doesn’t make it easy, especially in the thick of the daily challenges that come with relationships. But with God’s help, you can experience a deeper, more fulfilling life—because you’ve chosen, through his grace, to let go of certain disagreements and irritations, allowing his peace to take root instead.
And perhaps one day, you’ll be blessed with a richer collection of memories to carry in your heart—should you ever face the loss of this dear loved one.
Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11