The Role of Social Media

I’m honestly a bit surprised to be writing on this topic.  Yes, I am on FaceBook, but other than my personal and ministry blog, I don’t post too often.  I’ve always considered myself more of a FaceBook stalker or creeper.  Which sounds pretty creepy as I write that…  I mostly like to see what others are up to.

I think FaceBook is great for staying in touch with friends and family.  I get some great recipes there.  There’s some really funny stuff that shows up from time to time.  And of course, I LOVE anything to do with Frenchies or Bostons.  So, I am a fan of it in some limited situations.

I don’t get too involved with anything that’s a political hot potato – just not my style.  I’d rather have an actual conversation if it might be controversial.  I’m also not a fan of those cryptic posts that say things like, “What a day!” or “This can’t be happening” or “Seriously?”  And then nothing else.

Yes, I’ve seen those in my news feed and the “posters” are clearly looking for some additional interaction from their Facebook friends.  Personally, I’d rather you just say what you need and not make us guess.  But that’s just me.

All that to bring us to the topic of how we can or should interact with someone on Facebook who is grieving.  After Dale died, I found myself posting a bit more frequently.  Of course, the first main post was his obituary.  But I would also post something on difficult days like his or my birthdays, our wedding anniversary, holidays, or the x-month anniversary of his death.  Sometimes I just posted a picture of him or us that I came across that touched me.

What was I expecting from my Facebook friends with all these posts?  At the risk of sounding needy or pathetic, I wanted them to “like,” “love,” or “cry” over those posts.  Or say something comforting to me.

It was important to see that people cared about what I was going through, that they acknowledged how sweet a picture was, or that they were still praying for me.  Sometimes they could reminisce with me about a shared picture.

I will unabashedly admit that their comments or reactions were important to me – and were comforting.  I have actually gone back several times to the initial posting of Dale’s obituary and read through the scores of comments from friends and family.  Yes, they make me cry all over again, and yet, the outpouring of support was and still is a balm for my soul.

I hope this doesn’t throw me in the category of posting things like, “Seriously?”  Because I AM looking for something from Facebook land without specifically telling you what it is!

So, I’m going to cover that by telling you all here and now that it IS important to acknowledge a Facebook post from someone who is hurting.

Take a moment to react appropriately to it.  Take a couple of moments to write a thoughtful comment.  In my experience, they do not go unnoticed.  It reminds me that you’re still connected to me through this difficult season.  That you haven’t forgotten I’m still grieving.  That you still care.

And for those of you who struggle with HOW to interact with someone going through a loss, there’s no simpler way to begin than with some social media responses.

To all of you who continue to interact with me through Facebook, I thank you!!  I appreciate it and I do not take it for granted.  You do not go unnoticed.  Don’t stop.  😊

A friend loves at all times…

Proverbs 17:17