Despite the myriad ways that people can be divided nowadays, I’m going to add one more category.
There are purgers – and there are savers. And a full spectrum in-between.
I tend to lean towards the purge end of that spectrum, although this latest spring-cleaning project might cause you to question that, given how much stuff was still here!
I got a start on this project prior to my three-week stint of health maladies. But now that I’m healthy and rarin’ to go, I have hit that 4-page to-do list with great fervor!
I won’t bore you with many of the mundane details, but I do want to focus on a couple of areas that have unearthed a plethora of memories. Many brought a smile to my heart, but there were some expected gut punches along the way. And, not surprisingly, a lesson or two from above.
I had one of those large, double-sided, under-the-bed storage containers chock full of music. Literally decades of music! It covered a multitude of musicals I’ve accompanied, tons of wedding music I’ve played including the songs I recorded for our wedding back in 1986.
And of course, multiple copies of some of the songs. Why search through this massive container when you can just make a few new copies?
As time passed, I realized there were no likely candidates for donating many of these items. So I tossed all the photocopies but kept the main books and original sheet music. In the end, I eliminated approximately 70% of the contents.
The emotions elicited from this project were primarily happy ones – memories of the people who played the various roles in the musicals. The joy of performing so many of these musicals for the community in which we lived.
There were also pieces from joyous occasions such as weddings and numerous concerts.
I would characterize this part of the purging project as “nostalgic.”
This past Saturday, however, I turned my attention to my office. And there was one storage cabinet that I dreaded opening because I knew what had been stored there for a decade or two.
I had a large accordion file filled with various cards through the years. Many from my mom, who’s been gone since 2007. Those also brought primarily feelings of nostalgia.
But the lion’s share of those cards were from Dale to me, and a few from me to Dale. (Apparently, he didn’t keep as many of those!) Birthdays, anniversaries and Christmases through the years.
If I ever doubted how much Dale loved me (I don’t), these cards would have put that notion to rest immediately.
While Dale wasn’t a wordsmith by his own admission, he was certainly a man of deep love and emotion.
The verses in these cards reflected exactly how much he loved me and loved being my husband. Yes, words like “soul mate” and “love of my life” were sprinkled generously through his cards.
And of course, my cards to him, while not as numerous, left no doubt that I felt the same way about him.
While there was certainly some nostalgia in reading through these cards, I was primarily emotionally drained. I cried through the entire process.
And yet, I was simultaneously incredibly grateful to have lived most of my adult life with this amazing man.
Did I keep this file of cards? I’d been thinking about this decision for quite a while. Every time I’ve gone through these cards, I’ve debated throwing them out. This time was no different.
I’ll give you the answer at the end – after the lessons!
One of the lessons I learned after reviewing decades of items throughout my house is that our life is composed of seasons. Some are filled with joy. Others overflow with sorrow that feels never-ending.
But God is present through it all, and that truth becomes clearer with every decade that passes. I’ve learned to expect both joy and sorrow, knowing God will use both for my eventual good, and my spiritual growth.
The second lesson I learned is that getting rid of a physical item – whether it be a piece of clothing or music or a card – doesn’t permanently eliminate the memories associated with the item.
You can purge to your heart’s content, knowing that the precious memories go with you into eternity.
So this year, I did not keep the accordion file of beautiful cards. The cards had served their purpose.
You might have made a completely different decision and that’s absolutely legitimate. We all handle these things differently.
I know that the memories of my life with Dale are never fully purged. The most important parts –our love for each other – will remain with me, with or without those card reminders.
I can still smile and I can still shed tears over the decades of life we spent together. It was a beautiful collection of sunshine and shadow. I’m grateful for God’s design over those years.
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
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