What to Do with These Tears?

Specifically, what do my tears mean, and what do YOUR tears represent?  I know it’s often very uncomfortable being around someone who is crying – especially if you think you started it!

So, let me take some of that discomfort away by doing a little “tear analysis.”

What does the Bible say about tears and grieving?

• “Jesus wept” (John 11:35 ESV).  You got it, that verse you may have memorized in Sunday School because it was the shortest one in the Bible.  Wrap your head around this – the incarnate Son of God wept because he grieved the loss of his friend, even KNOWING he would see him again.
• “…and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her” (Genesis 23:2b ESV).  The father of our faith mourned the loss of his dear wife, and it was important enough to be divinely recorded in God’s Word.
• “You keep track of all my sorrows.  You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Psalm 56:8 NLT).  While David was being tracked down by murderous Saul, that is what he wrote. Isn’t it a beautiful picture of compassion?  Make no mistake – THIS is God’s character.  He absolutely cares about Every. Single. Tear you shed.

What do tears accomplish?

I’m talking about emotional tears, not the onion-peeling kind – and they are physiologically different from each other.  I think most of us have experienced what it means to “have a good cry.” 

Innately, we understand we feel better afterwards.  I would often (and still do) feel like emotions were building up behind the dam and the only way to alleviate the stress was to have that good cry.

But there’s a LOT of science behind the importance of emotional tears.  It’s how God has created us! Here’s what they accomplish:

• Tears provide emotional release
• Tears remove toxins
  • Just a side note here:  scientists have actually found toxins IN EMOTIONAL TEARS!  But not in onion-peeling tears.  So, emotional crying literally cleanses our body of harmful toxins.  How great is a God who created this system for helping us heal?  Mind blown… 
• Tears bolster our immune system
• Tears boost mood – especially after you stop!

What do MY tears mean?

• Yes, they mean that all the above scientific stuff is happening.  And that’s good!
• MOST importantly, my tears are a direct reflection of my love for Dale and for the depth of my sorrow and sense of loss.  (But worth noting – they do NOT represent a lack of faith.)
• They mean that he is WORTH crying over.

What do YOUR tears mean…to me?

• They mean that you care enough about me to be vulnerable, and to grieve with me.
• They mean that you understand how deep this loss is.  And your acknowledgement of that means the world to me.
• In some manner, they mean we now have an emotional bond, an emotional community of sorts.
• Your tears did NOT “make” me cry!  My tears are always just under the surface –and they need to be shed, so that’s accomplished when you enter into this with me.

How should you react to my tears?

• Cry with me
• Wait with me – when I’m done, I may share what’s on my heart.
• Encourage me – let me know you’re praying for me, that your heart hurts with mine.
• Don’t
  • Apologize, if you think you started it
  • Back away – we can sense that and it’s hurtful

Take-aways

• Tears are necessary and are God-ordained, both physically and emotionally.
• They are a direct reflection of the depth of loss I’m experiencing.
• Entering in with me is one of the best ways to bless me!

Now, go have a good cry…with a friend!