I had a conversation today with a friend whom I met after I became a widow. She, too, lost the love of her life at about the same age that I did, but several years ago. So, we get together from time to time to share conversations that only two widows truly can. It’s a special bond that I’m grateful for – and yet, we’d both rather be friends withOUT that widow bond!
We hadn’t talked for a while, so I called her just to catch up on each other’s lives. She had been on a wonderful trip out west and I’d been busy with various ministry activities. And in that conversation, I was lamenting a bit the fact that most of what I’m doing in the ministry I know very little about!
God has me writing some songs and I’ve NEVER done that before and know virtually nothing about the songwriting process. My book is finished, but I have no idea how to successfully “launch” it in this crazy digital/Amazon world in which we live. So I’m taking a course to help me with that.
I’m a planner at heart and have always thrived in an environment where those skills were necessary and valued. My corporate years were a perfect match. Whether it was planning my day, planning a project or planning my career, I enjoyed some illusion of control over my life during those years.
Then Dale died. I quit my job. God led me to this ministry. And nothing has been the same since – in both heartbreaking and encouraging ways. But what is unquestionably gone from my life in large part is PLANNING!
Don’t know which direction I’ll be led next. Don’t know how to do it. Not sure where to look for answers. Why are all my Google searches contradictory? Who do I ask to help me? Am I hearing God clearly? And on and on and on… Do you see the problem!? My world – and my daily routine – are turned upside down.
And that’s exactly what I was sharing with my friend. Not necessarily complaining, but clearly struggling with this new reality. And as she so often does, she wisely and simply said, “Now you work for God.”
Yes! That’s it in a nutshell! And so the heavens opened up, the angel chorus sang Hallelujah, and a new perspective was instantly bestowed upon me. Yes, I work for God! How much better can it get?
So I will strive to let go of that “planner idol” that I cling to so tightly. I’ll release the stress of feeling ignorant during this season. I’ll remind myself AGAIN that there is no one I can trust more fully than God.
He has the perfect outcome for me already in mind. I don’t need to know what it is. I just need to prayerfully look for and listen to His leading. I’ve seen it SO many times in the past 20-some months. He is faithful. I just need to remember that.
What about you? Do you like to have [the illusion of] control? Do you want your days and years planned out? Or maybe you’re not a planner, but wish that you were and think that might fix the chaos in your life. Whichever type of person you are, the answer is the same. God’s in charge, whether we acknowledge it or not.
Trust that wherever He has you right now is where He wants you. Even when our own sinful decisions land us somewhere we don’t want to be, God is STILL working good in our lives through that. We are NOT big or powerful enough to thwart the plans of Almighty God. And thank God, literally, that we are not!
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV